Mrs Down's Diary - Nov 4 2009

So here I am. Wet bottom as well as wet feet, sat on a bank of the River Tweed, whilst John fishes instead.

There is little hope of catching anything as there has been no fresh water in the river and the fish are not moving. Well that's not entirely true.

Just occasionally one will jump. But as they have been hanging around in the river for quite a few weeks, the fish we see are not gleaming silver, but are flashing red like kippers or even black.

At one time I was reading and another fisherman even asked if I had a spare book as he thought that would be more productive than fishing. They jest of course. John especially will persist in cast after cast until the end of the day. I can vouch for that.

Back home on the farm, friends from Australia are doing a spot of house and farm sitting for us. They have been travelling Europe and England in a camper van. Just a pair of old hippies. This trip was to be a decider as to whether to retire back home to England or to go back "down under" for good. Down under has won.

They left England thirty years ago and have not been back since.

Their children are settled in Australia and it is the pull of their growing families as well as they more crowded and depressed conditions that they have experienced in England, that has decided them to go back.

Plus "We can't believe how angry people get here at the least provocation" they said. "You only have to be a second or two too slow to move out onto a junction or have the wrong change in a supermarket and hold up a queue and you are shouted and raged at. It is much more laid back in Australia."

So a spot of Scottish luxury for us then as they slum it on our farm.

Breakfast chat this morning with friends who were with us centred on the bright idea the government is floating to charge farmers a toll for livestock as insurance for any costs incurred by any potential disease outbreak such as Foot and Mouth.

Despite the fact the last outbreak was the governments fault and so far no compensation has been paid to farmers for the costs they incurred.

Charges may even extend to hobby farmers and smallholders, perhaps for relatively few numbers of livestock. As it would be out of proportion to send inspectors in to check on all the numbers of livestock we wondered how the governments would minimise their inspectorate costs. "Perhaps they'll do it by satellite" one friend said.

Inspired thinking. We could camouflage everything. Fool the satellite inspectorate.

Buy lots of cans of green and brown spray paint and give each sheep, cow, hen, goose, duck and pig a paint job to make them invisible from space.