Mrs Down's Diary

It is called that as the course they play on is owned by one of the mates, so, no matter how busy the course is, although they do start this game at an unholy hour, they can usually find an empty hole to tee off from. I think those are the correct terms, not being a golfer myself.

I will qualify the "every Friday morning" as well. As all the mates are self employed, they can dictate this spot of leisure time.

Holidays and the need to earn some money does routinely interfere with this knock round, however, for the most part the mixture of smart (theirs) and battered (ours) vehicles regularly gathers in the club car park for this hallowed occasion.

So for once a week any stock, if they are about to lamb or calves, has to clench all orifices and hang on.

They need to picture a leisurely amble around the greens punctuated by wild and inaccurate shots, a running commentary on the wildlife ( currently a swan is again nesting on one of the ponds, and then shut out the vision of them feasting on bacon sandwiches ( poor piggies) that have been ordered from the greens by a phone call directly to the chef in the restaurant.

For full feature see West Sussex Gazette May 23