Nik Butler: Trees are bad for business, pour in the concrete

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Has anyone considered that the countryside poses a serious threat to modern development?

It’s not like modern houses grow on trees or car parks can form themselves naturally; no matter how many cars we cram into a recently ploughed field.

Let us be honest with ourselves, it’s not like anything we can build today will do any long term damage to the environment - assuming you measure that environmental damage in millions of years which is but the blink of an eye in the scale of geophysical changes.

If nature was so easily defeated why do I face a constant battle with freshly seeded trees and weeds in my own garden.

So what if we build on flood plains? Is not the opportunity of seasonally available outdoor swimming pools and fishing retreats a small price to pay in the scheme of things?

Thats the problem with these environmental rage groups and collective ‘not in my backyarders’, they have too much information and not enough perspective.

What about all that wildlife whose great newted nerdity halts all development and planning?

What is the point of evolution, natural selection or survival of the most adaptable if you cannot help nature along a little more by changing up the environment? I don’t see those foxes or pigeons complaining at the abundance of free food which the public leave out for them. Indeed if these foxes continue their expansion into our streets we might have to resurrect the Fox Hunt for the next century. Urban chases with springer spaniels, whom will be better suited to leaping those garden fence panels, as the Hunt streams across the backyards and through school playgrounds; imagine the spectacle of that! We are are failing to be more imaginative and to understand that with every new property development comes the windfall of success and business growth.

Clearly the link between financial benefits and the lack of trees and fields must be obvious. Just compare the wealth created in the City of London to that created in our rural business parks.

Trees are bad for business and the only way to dig ourselves out of the financial sink we are in is to pour more concrete until we have chased away the green fields in favour of the green backs.

This halloween scare story brought to you by my ghoulish imagination and just a little bit of blind faith in facts.